Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Two at a Time!

March 10, 2011 2 comments

I am a multi-tasker. Not that I do all of the tasks well, but I like to accomplish two things at one time.

I heard a song called “One Small Step” by a group called Downhere. I like those guys because they are theologically sound (for the most part) and smart. This song in particular has the following lyric in it:

“I know it’s gonna be a hard day…We’ll take one small step, two at a time.”

What a picture of marriage! Walking alongside your best friend, your spouse, taking one small step TOGETHER. God gave Adam Eve because he was lonely in Genesis 2.

Our TIL ministry is summed up by this “one small step, two at a time” philosophy of two by two ministry where we provide two biblical counselors working together! There are no better partnerships in our model of ministry than married couples that the Lord has brought together!

I love it! Team work! Based upon Luke 10:1.

No one ever has to do ministry alone, especially married persons, what a way to improve your marriage relationship: do discipleship ministry together!

In a world where we feel alone all of the time, it’s nice to do ministry alongside all of the faithful servants in TIL!

-Mark (working with others to spread the good news)


“getting some love”

March 4, 2011 1 comment

I hear these phrases like “so and so artist is getting some love from other artists in music” and it makes me sad. Why?

Because they are misusing the word “love” – that’s not what this is! It’s not love. It’s attention. It’s publicity. It’s respect. But it’s not love. It’s not unconditional love for sure! It’s not the love of Christ.

I think today our society really doesn’t even know what love is. Certainly, in most marriages, people think “love” fades and goes away which leads to divorce. But true love is a choice. Love gives. Love is an action.

I guess in that sense, “getting some love” might make more sense but it’s still a stretch.

I know I am nit-picking but I want people to think biblically rather than like this world.

-Mark (striving to think more like God who is The Truth in Love)

Categories: Marriage Tags: ,

March is “Marriage” month!

March 1, 2011 Leave a comment

I thought about a March Madness theme since I’m a basketball nut and since most people think marriage is madness, but instead, I decided to theme this month as March Marriages to focus upon God’s purpose for marriage which is good according to Genesis 2:18:

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

God knew it was not good for man to be alone so He instituted marriage. Before the fall of mankind and sinful state of being, marriage was good – look at Genesis 2:24-25:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Both of them were naked and transparent in their relationship together PRIOR to their own sin in Genesis 3:7:

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

Those fig leaves were necessary because now they knew they were naked since they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and disobeyed the Lord. The fig leaves separated them from a complete and honest relationship without sin.

Thus, marriage became a challenge according to the consequence in Genesis 3:16b:

“Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

Now, in a sinful and fallen world, there is a battle of the sexes that leads to many divorces. Unless people are submitted to Christ, their marriage will likely end in divorce these days due to this curse upon marriage due to mankind’s sin.

So, let’s focus on redeeming our marriages in the month of March and search the Word of God for answers to solve marriage problems.

Categories: Marriage Tags: , ,

Plan your Marriage, not just your Wedding

September 4, 2010 2 comments

There is a difference between a marriage and a wedding.

Engaged Encounter, a Catholic ministry, says this: “A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime.”

I wish we thought like that more often! Most people invest more in their wedding than in their marriage and that’s why divorce rates are as high as they are.

Let me encourage you to invest your time, resources, and talents in your spouse. Invest in your marriage and it will pay dividends by God’s grace.

Plan how to improve your marriage and how to help your spouse. Ephesians 5:22-33 has much to say about how to love your spouse.

-Mark (thankful for my marriage though my wedding was fraught with problems)

Categories: Truth in Love Staff Tags: ,

Where’s the Bible say “trust your SPOUSE”? (part 2)

September 29, 2009 Leave a comment

Remember Prov. 3:5-8 tells us NOT to trust ourselves but only to trust in the Lord with all of our hearts.

So where does the Bible say that you must trust your spouse?

Someone who had been cheated on by a spouse committing adultery asked me once, “How will I ever be able to trust ANYONE again?”

To which I replied with the question, “where in the Bible does God tell you to trust your spouse?” The person responded “no where” and then with “I am called to trust in the Lord.”

Now, in marriage, trust does build. As two persons are faithful, they learn to trust each other more but ultimately, they must be trusting in Christ alone. He will reveal to them what is going on in His timing, for His glory, and for their own good!

God is love and can be trusted completely. Anyone else falls short.

Jeremiah 32:17 (KJV): “Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee.”

Jeremiah 32:26-27: “Then came the word of the LORD unto Jeremiah, saying, Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”

By God’s own Word, He tells us to trust Him since He can do anything He wants and He loves you and I! Think about the implications of this for biblical counseling!

-Mark (basking in the glow of God’s glory in my life as I trust Him alone for eternity)

“I’m not in love anymore…”

February 19, 2009 Leave a comment

People who want a divorce say, “I’m not in love anymore” as though the fleeting feeling of love is the basis for marriage. Real love is what marriage requires you to do – commit loving acts toward your spouse for the glory of God! It’s an ACTION and not a feeling primarily, though it is a feeling secondarily.

When you choose to love someone, you are supposed to do so REGARDLESS of whether they deserve it or not AND regardless of whether they respond the way you want them to (or not!). Missionaries in other countries are CHOOSING to love lost people regardless of how they respond to them.

Biblically speaking, love is one of the VOWS you make when you marry! You promise to love, honor, and cherish your spouse…for better or for worse…for sickness or in health…until DEATH do us part!

Most people view marriage like a young teenage boyfriend-girlfriend dating relationship that breaks up when those puppydog feelings of “love” wear off.

When married couples come to see us for counseling, they are usually experiencing the part of the vow which is best characterized by the “for worse” stage of marriage, but that does not mean they can divorce without biblical grounds!

I am always disappointed when people give up on their marriage and file for divorce because indirectly, they are giving up on God to change the heart of their spouse and even themselves!

God is still in the heart changing business and by His grace, He can mend any broken relationship!

-Mark (urging married persons NOT to give up on God to work in their marriages)

Are you willing to LIVE for your spouse?

February 15, 2009 Leave a comment

I meet with spouses who want a divorce frequently. I ask them, “Would you be willing to die for your spouse or at the least, give a kidney to your spouse?” To which, the person responds, “yes, of course.” Then, I often ask a follow-up question: “You say you are willing to die for them, but would you be willing to live for your spouse?” The answer then is almost always a “no”.

Who are you living for? You should be living for Christ. When you do so, then you can live for your spouse, too.

In marriage, God calls us to be willing to both die and to LIVE for our spouses. We are to SERVE our spouses REGARDLESS of how they respond to our love because love is an ACTION! “For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son…” reminds us that God ACTED to love us by GIVING to us. Love is an action verb in marriage!

Many divorces are caused by selfishness and hard hearts – not all of them but most.

In the wake of Valentine’s day, let’s remember that marriage is not about receiving love primarily but it’s about GIVING love primarily. Even in a “bad” marriage, you can seek to please and honor Christ by loving your spouse REGARDLESS of how your spouse treats you (I’m not talking about taking extreme abusive situations – if you’re receiving physical abuse, then get help.)

Christ loved us while we were yet sinners against Him (Rom. 5:8-11).

In closing, adapting that famous presidential line for marriage: “Ask not what your spouse can do for you but what you can do to love and serve your spouse for the glory of God.”

-Mark (wanting married couples to have the proper biblical goals for marriage so they will honor Christ in those marriages)